Homesick
We often feel stranded in the immigration line between what was and what will be. You look back to see a life of never-ending departures, having to let go over and over and over again. When it becomes too much to bear, you look forward, nervously anticipating what comes next. You hope it will be the place you’ve been looking for, the one where you’ll finally belong. Home. So you wait.
You think maybe home is where the heart is, until you remember how alone you can feel around the people and places you love. No, homesickness isn’t an affliction of the heart, but one of the mind: searching for something real in the lands forever guarded by the gates of time. So you wait.
Between the lands of “once upon a time,” and “happily ever after,” only one place remains: the waiting place. Maybe the only place we can claim as our own — the one place we fail to look — is now, and now, and now. Maybe every moment is greeting us with open awkward arms over and over and over again. Could it be that we’re always arriving?
You can never return home, because you never left. You’ve just been a distracted passenger in your own life, desperately waiting for yesterday to return, for tomorrow to arrive. What if you looked here, right here? You will see that now is the only place you can ever be. Now is when you change. Now is when you forgive. Now is when you heal. Now is when you give love. Now is when you begin. Now.
Now is where you always did — and always will — belong. The only question that remains, the only one that ever really mattered, is: what will you do now?
